The Difference Between Nice Guys and Bad Boys
Valentines Day has come and gone and for the first time, I spent it with a nice guy. It may seem shocking since I’m 23 years old but for some reason, I only seem to attract bad boys who aren’t good for me. So I decided to compare what it’s like dating a bad boy versus a nice guy.
My world was completely turned upside down when I recently met “Jack” (his name is changed to protect his privacy). I hadn’t been on Tinder in months and was extremely bored when I decided to go on for fun. I honestly wasn’t expecting anything good to come from it (I’ve written posts about my Tinder experience and how to spot f*ckboys which you can read at the end of this post) and was just looking to waste some time. But when I came across his profile I was immediately attracted because he thought of himself as a “nice guy”. For some reason, there’s a stigma that nice guys don’t get the ladies and only bad boys do (which isn’t true). We ended up going on our first date and I was amazed at how well a guy could treat a lady. I’ve pretty much only had experience with bad boys or f*ckboys which ended up jading my heart and eventually making me become scared of getting close to guys since I knew they would eventually leave. But my eyes and heart have been opened and I just had to share some differences I’ve noticed between the two types.
nice guys (gentlemen)
Keep in contact with you throughout the day (texting)
Show more affection (kissing, touching, PDA)
Are more in touch with their emotions (can come across as really sensitive which I like)
Like to go out in public with you (dates or errands)
A sense of safety and stability
bad boys (exciting)
Don’t text you often
Don’t plan dates
Focus on sex or hanging out with friends
Don’t like to talk about feelings
Avoid defining the relationship for a long time
Never know what to expect from them
The problem with going from bad boys to nice guys comes with the conditioning they unintentionally give you. You’re used to hiding sentimental feelings which can make you worried that you’ll come across as clingy when you’re finally in a healthy relationship. You’re used to not texting a lot which also makes you worried you’ll come across as needy if you engage in normal back in forth banter with a normal guy. Basically, bad boys make you feel needy and crazy when in reality you’re not. There’s definitely a transition phase that you have to go through but it’s absolutely worth it! The love and affection you feel are out of this world and you wonder how you went without it for so long. There’s also the drama that comes with bad boys that can create a sense of excitement. You might feel like you have to “save” him and open his heart up to love but don’t waste your time. If he wanted love he knows how to get it. You don’t get bored but you’re also on edge a lot of the time. Nice guys make you feel comfortable just being yourself. You feel safe opening up to them and just being around them in general. They care about you 100 times more and are the ones you want to settle down with. In summary, girls like bad boys but women like nice guys.
You may have heard the saying “nice guys finish last” but this isn’t true at all. It may seem like girls like bad boys but in reality, we do like nice guys. But you can’t just be a nice guy and not be attractive in the girl’s eyes. You need a combination of good looks and nice guy behavior which will make you the perfect catch. Disclaimer: guys don’t need to have model looks. The girl just has to find you physically attractive in her own way.
This was just a quick overview and not all differences were listed. Now for my readers, does anyone else feel on top of the world with nice guys? Do you find the stereotypes that bad boys are exciting and nice guys finish last to be true? Is there anything I missed that you want to share? Feel free to let me know in the comments! In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying my nice guy (insert heart eyes emoji here).