Let's Talk About Interracial Dating

We’ve come a long way as a society when it comes to racism. Of course racism still exists, but not nearly as frequent and strong as in the past. So what does this mean? It means that races are now willing and open to date outside their race. I will say that coming from a minority’s point of view, black women have it hard (more on that later). Stick around to read about my personal experience with interracial dating, what things to expect, and to learn some interesting statistics!

People today are more open to “mixing” up the dating scene

People today are more open to “mixing” up the dating scene



Exposure

There are 2 major ways to have increased exposure to other races:

  • Online Dating

  • Location

First, let’s talk about online dating. This is pretty easy to understand: you have millions of people (don’t quote me on that) from around the country or world who are on dating apps/websites. You are bound to see a profile of a person from a different race. It’s also likely that you will match with them.

Location is also a very important factor. It’s known that if you live in a race specific area, you’re unlikely to date outside your race. For example, every state (I would believe) has a city or town that’s dominated by a certain race. For example, in my state of New York, there are race specific towns: Wyandanch is black, Copiague is hispanic, and Dix Hills is white. I’m sure if you think closely, you’ll be able to name some towns that are race specific where you live as well. Now, the town I grew up in for the majority of my childhood was a nice mixed race town. The only sad thing was that whites and blacks lived on separate sides of the town: east side was black, west side was white (of course there were whites and blacks on both sides but the majority of each race was on the sides mentioned above). Because of this, I was exposed to guys of different races and came to find out that white guys in fact do like black girls. I had white guys who had crushes on me in school but I was too shy to do anything.



Clash Of Cultures

You can expect to be introduced to different things: food, music, fashion, religion, and the way they talk for example. Some families don’t tolerate interracial dating, whether it’s for racist reasoning, being scared of the unknown or just wanting to pass down their family heritage as purely as possible (for example, I’ve heard of an Italian family who only mingled with other Italians to keep their bloodline 100% pure). That becomes a major problem, and I believe the number one reason why there’s not many interracial relationships. People are scared of their family’s opinion and want to maintain their image. There’s also the intimidation factor from others: people staring at you or making rude comments.



Stereotypes

All blacks are loud and ghetto. All hispanics are here illegally. All muslims are terrorists. All whites are racist. All asians can’t drive. You’ve probably heard these and more. It’s true that you will have thoughts that the other person sees you as just a stereotype.



Statistics

Black women are the least desired race when it comes to dating, while white men are the most desired. For more information, click the button below!


My personal experience

I’ve used Tinder in the past and have had plenty of matches with guys who weren’t black. It’s actually how I got really deep into interracial dating. At first I was shocked, since I didn’t have many non-black guys approach me in the past. I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I thought they matched with me because they had some type of fetish or were just into me because of certain traits black girls have (big butt and big lips). For the most part, I do date outside of my race, mainly white guys and hispanic guys. They treated me well and I never felt odd around them or like they were racist in any way. White guys always seemed intrigued by my hair which was cute and funny. I alternate between wearing my hair in braids and having it straightened, and they would always comment on how they liked my hair in braids. Going out in public always made me feel a little uncomfortable since I would notice people looking at us. I eventually grew used to it and it didn’t bother me as much but it was still pretty annoying. Meeting their family and friends was extremely intimidating. In the back of mind I always had this thought that they might not approve because they were racist. It’s a hard thought to shake from a minority’s mind. There were times where I thought the guys were changing the way they were talking or texting me (saying things like yo, aye, aight), I guess because they thought I talked a certain way (stereotype). It didn’t really bother me and I could easily overlook that.

Now on to my bad experience: There was a time where a guy blatantly said “I can’t believe I just slept with a black girl”. He kept repeating it over and over and I immediately knew he was only with me because of my skin color. I had a strong gut instinct that he had a fetish to sleep with black girls and things ended. Though I have these deep rooted fears, not from the guys themselves but from the people around them, I still enjoy interracial dating. I also highly suggest it! I love being around someone who isn’t like me, it makes things more interesting. It’s like there’s some taboo about mixing that makes things exciting…it’s hard to explain.

Have you dated outside your race? How was your experience? Where do you generally meet others? What are your thoughts when you see a interracial couple in public? These are all questions I’d love to hear answers from you guys, so feel free to leave a comment! Read about “My Tinder Experience” if you were thinking about trying online dating and for other dating related posts, click below.