Dealing With Mixed Signals
Mixed signals. You may be asking, what are mixed signals? Well, they’re when a person says one thing but acts a completely different way. You want to believe that they like you…but they act so confusing which then makes us confused! In particular, we’re going to be relating this to how guys act when first dating or hooking up.
I’ve gotten plenty of mixed signals from guys and honestly, I’m over it! You’re probably over it too. That’s part of the reason why I excused myself from the dating scene for a while, I needed to get my sanity and self esteem back up to par. So, let’s talk about a couple scenarios that happen with guys.
The dreaded: “I don’t want a relationship”
Some guys are completely honest and say they don’t want a relationship up front. This is respectable since they aren’t using us for sex and then ghosting afterwards. But things get a little weird when they start acting interested. For example:
Wanting you to stay the night-if guys aren’t interested, why do they want us to stay the night? Easy sex might be the answer or maybe they like your company but are too scared to admit it.
Texting-one day they’re texting you all the time, the next day you can barely get them to answer. Are they just bored or do they actually like talking to you but don’t want to get attached?
Lurking on social media-aka stalking. I don’t know about you guys, but I only check out profiles of people I’m interested in. If he’s not interested why is he always the first one to watch your story or always liking your pictures or commenting? He’s interested enough to know what you’re up to, but why? If he doesn’t care about you, why does he want to know what you’re doing anyway? I always feel like telling them “You know I can see you right?! Get off my profile!
Close non sexual contact-whether he’s holding your hand or putting an arm around you, this gives the feeling that they’re showing their soft side (at least to me it seems that way)
Let’s talk about some personal experiences shall we? I’m going to tell you a few mixed signals I’ve gotten from guys in the past and feel free to comment and let me know if you would’ve been confused too.
1) A guy told me he didn’t want a relationship after we had already hooked up. Yes, I was upset but was confused on how he treated me after. He would say he wasn’t into texting but then randomly changed his mind and said he didn’t mind if I texted him. What? I mentioned that he was showing his soft side and of course he denied it.
2) Two guys I’ve been with who said they didn’t want anything serious ended up wanting me to spend the night…often. And no, sex wasn’t always involved. I take a guy asking me to spend the night as something serious. I mean, you don’t spend the night at any random person’s house right? And you don’t want a random person spending the night at your house, right? So, I was getting the feeling that maybe they were liking my company (whether they wanted to admit it or not).
3) We all know cuddling leads to sex. But when a guy wants to cuddle you without sex, now that’s some serious mixed signals there. There’s no way on Earth a guy doesn’t know that cuddling makes a girl feel good. So, let the attachment begin! When a guy asks me to cuddle and nothing else, you best believe I’m thinking he likes me for more than just my body at that point.
4) Drunken confessions. I’ve had a guy tell me he didn't want me having sex with anyone else while he was drunk. When he sobered up, he denied it and said he didn’t care. You’ve probably heard the saying that drunk people speak the truth, so I’m often left confused as to whether he’s saying what he really feels or just being an idiot and saying what I want to hear. I’ve also had a guy call me “his girl” and saying that I was “his favorite”. Now what girl isn’t going to think that this guy doesn’t like her?
Dealing with his mixed signals
How should you act? In a perfect world you should be cool, calm, and collected. You shouldn’t mention his mixed signals and keep your options open, without catching any feelings. But that’s easier said than done. You’re probably thinking that he likes you but doesn’t want to admit it. But in reality, you should probably move on. No guy really wants to risk losing a girl he likes but acting non interested. Or if you don’t want to get him out of your life completely, it’s ok to talk to and date other guys. You’re doing nothing wrong since you aren’t in a serious committed relationship. Once he thinks that he might lose you, he should come to his senses and fight for you. If he doesn’t, then you have your answer.
Now let me ask you, have you experienced mixed signals from a guy? How did you feel and what did you do? Let me know in the comments!